Short Funny Sayings Home
Top Ten Funniest Sayings
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"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
Funny Short Sayings by, Ken Dodd.
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
Funny Short Sayings by, Oprah Winfrey
"I can resist everything except temptation."
Funny Short Sayings by, Oscar Wilde.
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Funny Short Sayings by, Groucho Marx
"I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
Funny Short Sayings by, Rodney Dangerfield
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
Funny Short Sayings by, Bob Hope
Calvin: "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,"
Hobbes: "Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?"
Funny Short Sayings by, Calvin and Hobbes.
"Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's drunken 16-year-old daughter on your lap."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous member of a chain gang.
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
Funny Short Sayings by, Rich Cook.
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
it."
Funny Short Sayings by, Franklin P. Jones.
"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"
Funny Short Sayings by, Unknown.
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