Short Funny Sayings Home
Top Ten Funniest Sayings
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"Despite what the cartoonists make him look like, Uncle Sam is a gentleman with a very large "waste."
Funny Short Sayings by, Ananymous.
"Always drink upstream from the herd."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" -Homer J. Simpson
Funny Short Sayings by, Yogi Berra
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Funny Short Sayings by, Dean Martin
"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!"
Funny Short Sayings by, Yogi Berra.
"Constipated People Don't Give A crap."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic."
Funny Short Sayings by, Unknown.
"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"In weight lifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you."
Funny Short Sayings by, Jack Handey.
"I am at two with nature."
Funny Short Sayings by, Woody Allen.
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