Short Funny Sayings Home
Top Ten Funniest Sayings
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"Man was given a sense of humor to compensate for nature's law of gravity."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"An alarm clock is a device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."
Funny Short Sayings by, Homer J Simpson.
"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."
Funny Short Sayings by, Rodney Dangerfield.
"It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody."
Funny Short Sayings by, Richard M. Nixon.
"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."
Funny Short Sayings by, Homer J Simpson.
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
Funny Short Sayings by, Steven Wright.
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."
Funny Short Sayings by, Sam Levenson.
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."
Funny Short Sayings by, Lyndon B. Johnson.
"Summer is the season when a man thinks he can cook better on an outdoor grill than his wife can on an indoor stove."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
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