Short Funny Sayings Home
Top Ten Funniest Sayings
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"Middle age is the time in life when, after pulling in your stomach, you look as if you ought to pull in your stomach."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
Funny Short Sayings by, Rita Rudner.
"Procrastination gives you something to look forward to."
Funny Short Sayings by, Joan Konner.
"One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Funny Short Sayings by, Steven Wright.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
Funny Short Sayings by, Unknown.
"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Funny Short Sayings by, Rodney Dangerfield
"Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important."
Funny Short Sayings by, Lisa Hoffman.
"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
Funny Short Sayings by, Anonymous.
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times."
Funny Short Sayings by, Mark Twain.
"You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."
- Funny Short Sayings by, Pearl Williams.
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